last night I had a dream

Dreams are given, not created. They manifest in the cracks of reality and in the voids between experiences, social concepts and ego. They glue up things in strange ways. Ways we wouldn't speak about, where they our wake thoughts. But luckily, for now, they are just dreams.


Last night I had the strangest dream. My first website I ever created was still up and going strong. It was a fandom page for a band. Must have been created somewhere in the early 2000s. At the time I wasn't even able to tell the truth from the made up band lore. As such the site was a hot mess.

It was all fun and games. Just some css with oldscool html tables. It was Text and image heavy. I was happy with it, most importanly I was joyfull. About creating, but also about the exposure. I gave everyone I knew the link. After the initial spike I got a steady visiting of 3 people a week. Given two out of them where crawlers, that still summounted to one viewer per week. I was really happy about it. A real person did like what I do.

Fast forward a few years, passing the heights of Lokalisten, Deviantart, Facebook, Reddit and now beeing stuck on Tiktok and Discord, creating has become a crippled third arm of mine. One that I barely ever use. 100 views is rubbish, a million is out of reach. Trapped between expectation and reality, the muses of art only reach out to me when I convince myself that it is just an unimportant sketch.

As such I contemplated about the meaning of life and on what pedestal to put my broken, dusty remains of self respect for my artistic side.

But to this day, I allways woke up from my dreams.
Have a good week,
Morning Reflections